OH! THE DRAMA!

So i only have a few moments to do this so forgive the spelling errors. i hope you can suffer through them.

Alot has happened since my lst post oh so long ago
Evan is now rolling across the floor! yay!!! he's soo big
he was weighed last week and came in at a wopping 16 pounds 4 oz's!!!
we've got a chunker!
i have been pleading with my mom to update pix but she can only get them on her facebook...
oh that woman nad her facebook! lol cracks me up!
we started feeding evan the baby rice ceral about a month ago and he is now on solid foods! the 1st year gerber stuff! yay! he loves it all! i'm not suprrised! lol he has had peas, bananas, sweet potatoes, pears(but he's allergic to those), squash, and i think thats it right now!
he's a mess wen he eats tho. it's not just cereal but ceral witha side of fingers!
That little boy can shove his entire hand in his mouth!
...and then some! teheheh!

On to a lovely topic... His father... good lord somebody shoot me! of the more recent developments and conflicts between us....he's dating somone! he's been seeing her since before i had evan. Although according him they were just"getting to know each" before i had evan. geuss how old this new girlfriend is!!! i dare u! guess! lol your gonna laugh. 19!!! talk about robbing the cradle. he's 24 and dating someone who jsut got out of high school!
I bet that says wonders about his maturity level!
it's not so much that he is seeing someone and i will admit i'm NOT comfortable with how old she isn;t! it's the fact that he has been lying to me about it for months!!! upon months!!!
why couldn't he just say something! he would lie to me about who he was hanging out with and why he would need to bring evan back early. i should have known something was up when he started bring him back around 2 or 3 in the afternoon instead of 6 or 7.
needless to say things are not very pleasant between us,.

He's picking evan up friday...by then it will have been 3 weeks since he has seen his son...pathetic is the best word that comes to mind. he spends most of his time with his new ho! it's just sad when you can go 3 weeks and find a shit ton of time for the bitch your fucking but not a minute to spare for your own child!...once again...pathetic...
i told him that last night,... he was less than happy to hear it. oops, my bad... did i hurt sum1's feelings...god.. i'm jsut a terrible person lol
not really!
But!!! good news!! i put my application in at friend of the court 3 or 4 weeks ago! child support bitches! it's a long process but it will be worth it! i should have done it a long time ago...but it ryt o give ppl the benift of the doubt and take their situation into consideration...
I;m dont being nice!
iT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
I'm so tired of dealing with his crap!
It would almost be easier if he would just wakl away completely...
but newho i gotta get off of here ... duty calls!
damn ihate work...
but i do work next saturday so i should have plenty of time to give a longer detailed updated!!! yeah!

I'M BACK BITCHES!!!!

OK!!!!! so how long has it been since i've done this!! lol hahaha
I have to be quick cuz i'm on the net at work and that's not exactly aloud at the moment!! thehehe...my bad!
First i would like to say HAPPY 25TH B-DAY to my favorite cousin!!!
Tiff i only wish i would get to see more of you!!!
Your not old and god made grey hair so people would invent hair color! i for one, will use it till i die!
Lord knows this kid is gonna be the cause of many grey hairs!

Which brings me to my next rant!
I AM NO LONGER A PREGOLOTAMUS!!!!!
Now i'm just fat! lol
i gained a grand total of 75 pounds carrying that little shit around!
I have currently lost only about 20 of it.
Well it was 25 but my lovely diet of chocolate hershey bars with almonds and gallons of dr. pepper isn't helping the situation!
Whish is the reason you will not see me in too many of the pictures!! i still look like a beached whale...
But the little man is doing great!!!! i won't go into a ton of detail (but for me that means i'll only write about 5 pages about him!!)
He was 7lb's 1 oz when he was ripped from my womb!!!
Yes i had to have a c-section. the cord was wrapped sround the little guys neck... and i wouldn't dialate past 4cm's. there's no way your pushing a 7 pound baby thorugh a 4 cm hole. It would bring new meaning to the word conehead!
I knew we were in for a bumpy ride the night i brang him home from the hospital! i got him naked to change a poopy diaper and he got so pissed at me that he held his breath!!
me and my mom both crapped our pants!!!
i
it hasn't been an easy go since we brang him home, i ended up back in the hospital less than a week after i had him formy preeclampsia. my swelling wouldn't go away and i had migraines that would kill a horse! had to have a magnesium drip... which means i couldn't eat for like a day and ahalf...way to go starve the chick who barely gets time to eat anyways...

iw as in for another 4 days on that one and came home on a sunday. that entire week i was puked on constantly by my beautiful little boy! it jsut kept coming out!
Took him to the doctors after trying everything my mom could possibly think of. after some testing we firgured out he had Pyloric Stenosis...you have no idea how long it took for me to be able to pronounce that. i had been puked on for over a week and was geting roughly 2 hours of sleep a nite...
GO ME!!
Let me tell you i'd rather have the worst hangover in the world... it's like hangover times 10! witha screaming baby in your head
so we ended up having surgery on his tum tum! porr little guy! it was horrible but for a few weeks it worked!!! he kept everything down! he is now puking again... not in the mass quantities like beofre but more than he should be...
Despite the excess of food coming out of the worng end of his body he has grown to a whopping 15 pounds and 1.5 oz's!! that was 2 weeks ago tho so he is probably at about 15 1/2 pounds now...
It scares me to think of what he would weigh if he were keeping down all of his food...it scares the shit out of me!
He is barely 3 1/2 months old and he's quite the pporker!
I love fat babies!!!
But other than the puking he is absolutley wonderfull!!! he has starting rolling over the past few weeks and finally fully got it jsut the other day!!! now he does it in the crib when he's mad lol! and turns himself around completley! he sleeps like his mother cuz he is never anywhere near the spot you left him in! lol.
HE looks mostly like me... most days... sumtimes like his dad... mainly when he's sad or pissed off! lol
but when he's happy he looks like me!! :-)
He's gonna be a smart baby!
I know everyone says taht about their kid but this one takes the cake!
His facial expressions alone are hilarious and the timing of them is more than coincidance! he laughs at parts of movies that are funny. he gives you death glares when he's mad. just the other day he shook his head no to a couple questions... i know some of you out there would just say its coincidence... b ut my baby is a genius!!! which is good cuz then i don't have to help him with his homework! we all know i wasn't that great in school and most of my good grades were either because i cheated alot or they were just easy classes!lol
he hate s to burp and loves to eat!!!
you can't take the bottle out of his mouth to save your life! if you do manage to get it out of his iron jaw he screams and cries till youput it back in! so burping him is needless to say not an easy task! which doesn't help the spitting up either!

He hates to sit! he wants to stand and bounce always! and he now plays with toys!!! he has a mr. elephant that he absolutley loves... i think mainly cuz his trunk is easy to chew on lol!
Cuz geuss wut! he's teething! which really doesn't help the puke! lol

if you can't tell already i'm a bit tired of being puked on!!! i can shower all i want but i still smell like day old formula!
I've excepted that it will be that way for quite some time!!

oh! and a big congrats goes out to Tiffany Preister who had her first baby on new years eve! Garrett Christopher Smith was born sometime in the afternoon on the 31st and was 7 pounds 5 oz's and had a lovel y head full of dark hair!!
Next up is her older sister Nikki who is do to have a boy within the next few weeks!!
after her is my cousin katelyn again... we have yett o find out what she is having but 100 bucks says its a boy! lol
We all want it to be a girl tho! lol

we ahev ahad an overabundance of boys in our family it's time we had a girl!

Here is the rundown on the baby's that have been born!

Thank god tristan had a girl!!! woo! go you!
Eric Preister had a boy! Jayce! he's so cute!!
MY sister has one of the cutes babies ever! Mr. Riley Zavala!! i luv that little chunkers!!
Katelyn had her chubbakowski Aiden
I then had Evan Blaine! My little bundle of puke and joy!!!
Tiffany Presiter had Garrett a few weeks ago
Nikki is due to have a boy here pretty quick
And now katelyn is pregnant with her second!

So we ahve 6 boys and no girls!
Christmas should be fun! lol

I could sit here and talk about alll the cute stuff that evan does all day! it is pretty much endless! he has the biggest powty lip you have ever seen! i have yet to capture it on camera tho... you never know when he is gonna bust one out and usually at that point your covered in puke and taking a picture is the last thing on your mind! lol

wea re almost ready to see how he does in a walker kind of thing...cuz my arms are jello after liftng him up into the air so he can kick his legsaround! over and over and over and over.... well i don't think i need to go on! lol

but other than all that... there is not too much going on... Evan's dad is in and out of the pictuer... right now he's in lol... not as much as i would like him to be, but beggers can't be choosers...

He does help with formula tho which is a huge relief...and i'm gonna hed to the DHS office next week and apply for WIC and the bridge card...despite my not wanting to live off the state at this point i have no other choice... it would free up 100's of dollars for me and i need that money!

Evan is wearing 12 month onesies already and he isonly gonna get bigger!

YES!! you heard me 12 month oensies~!!=
THe little stinker is too long for anything else/!

But i think i will be done for now..i don't know how long it will be before i can get back on here to update! so hopefully this was enough info to last for a while lol

luv yakids!

Oh Man!!! itsw been a wee bit!!!

Okay Kids!! i'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible, but it's been a while and much has happened!
Had teh baby shower!! it was amazing!! Sooooo many ppl there!! i could barely move by the end of it! thank you sooo much to everyone who sent gifts and came as well!! we loved it all!!!
PS. Tiff we put the stroller together!!! i luv it!!! it's not going anywher! It's almost too cute to take outside! lol.
If you want to see pictures fo to babybumblebee.shutterfly.com I think that's the site address.
So the events that have occurred over the past few weeks have been quite entertaining...
Still in the hospital twice a week for non stress tests... so far so good..only one scare.
The lovely little monster decided to play with his imbillical cord and cut off his blood supply!... He only did that once!
scared teh shit out of all of us... if he hadn't been moving like a fiend in the ultrasound i would have had a c-section immediately!
so taht was that visit... all the other ones have been great! The only issue is that i have contractions when i have to pee....

Like i said in the last post,...my body hates.
Other than that i was just put on restricted work hours... i can only work 5 hours a day. for 5 days... nice!!! pay cut... not so nice!!!
i have early signs of preeclampsia....go me! on top of the doc said i was measuring big for my measly 36 weeks... and then at lunch... we went to arbies... ( i had a cheese craving..yumm!!) the stupid bitch taking our order asked if i was only having one.... implying that i am big enough for 2 babies! thank you very much, i think we can declare this "lets all call lynnsey fat" day!!!
So newho im the only one without a phone call right now... which mean i will get the last one of the night and have to stay after... i will hopefully have time to finish this tomorrow...

Oh Boy!! My Body Hates Me!!!

Soooo friends!! i have been away for a bit! partially due to the holiday weekend. but newho! Boy! has this been a rough couple of days!!! and i don't anticipate it getting any better!

So to start off, me and mom got a ton done for the shower! we spent a good portion of the weekend with justins mom and got all the decorations and goodie bags done! all thats left is to decorate and bake a bajillion cookies and cupcakes!

Oh and for your veiwing pleasure my sister has pix on her website. Click on the family and freinds tab and they are all there!! every inch of the 40 pounds i have gained the past 7 months!! and a few of my evil nemisis (aka JW).

NEwho so back to my eventfull last 2 days. Now just so i don't scare everyone i would like to start by saying everything is fine... for now... they baby is good and im okay!

So i had my check up yesterday morning. it was gross and humid so of course i'm sweating my as off! everything i thot started out good they weighed me (i only gained one pound this month!! woo yeah me!) took my blood pressure... didn't say anything about that so i thot okay! easy breezy! they wanted more blood, as those blood sucking vampires we call doctors always do! 3 vials everytime!! sometimes 6!
well the doctor somes in and she's got that concerned look on her face... never a good sign... i told her about my back paina nd nausea and my lack of appetite! and we all know i love to eat!
So along withthe high blood pressure and all the above mentioned factors i was told to take it easy and fill up another bright orange biohazard jug with pee!!! oh! boy!! what fun...
you know its bad when for the second time your doctor is asking you to fill up a jug with24 hours worth of piss and refridgerate it!!! yes, it must be refridgerated!! i felt like a serial killer collecting trophys from my latest victims... and storing them in my fridge..disgusting... bleh!
So i go into work and let them know that i will not be bringing a bright orange biohazard jar full of pee into the building and i need the day off and part of tomorro (which is now today, keep up ppl's) cuz i am also scheduled for a non-stress test!! woot... can you taste the excitement...

I am not cool with this...

So i can't sleep for shit last night... every little twinge of discomfort i have i am that much closer to going to the hopsital.. only to soon realize that the 8 bottles of water and 2 pops i chugged have more than exceeded my bladders comfort zone...

so i make it throught he night and head to drop off my jug, be poked with more and more needles and then on to my stress test.

The nurse couldn't find the vein so after extensive digging and then a go on my other arm she got her tiny vial of blood...

so i get in pretty to my stress test... which believe it or not.. not that stressfull... they strap sum goop covered heart monitors to my stretch mark covered stomach! (Jay says i look like i painted a tiger around my belly button. THat ho!!) and listen for a bit... the product of two already stubborn ppl, big surprise didn't want to wake up! so they had to buzz my stomach to wake the wee one up! not cool! so he starts moving and kicking and 3 glasses of water later she wants me to pee in another cup... i am a pro at the art that is pissing in tiny cups and not getting it all over your hand... pretty easy for a guy but for a chick who is about ready to give up on shaving her legs because her stomach is constistantly in the way... not an easy task!
So anywho the doc comes in and asks me if i am feeling the CONTRACTIONS that i'm having every 2-4 minutes... i look at her like WTF... no!!! so she waits a bit and comes in and asks if i'm feeling a tightening sensation in my hoooha area.. i said yeah! but after 5 glasses of water i gotta pee like a bitch!! and so this conversation repeated itself about 3 seperate times.

SO because i only have 5 minutes left till i can run out of here... long long story shortened a tad lol!

THey baby is fine! the baby is in great shape! i saw his toes!! lol and his very large head!!! kind of scary lol..im not leaking anything im not dialated and the contractions aren't an issue unless i get them more than 4 times in one hour when i don't have to pee!

Now i've known my uterus has pretty much had it out for me since i was given my lovely monthly gift at age 11! on the day of our first volleyball game at school!!!

the baby was not an issue at all for any of this... the doc put it sumwhat like "your uterus is not calm" my uterus is a raging sack of hormones... it hates me!! so now i have 2 visits to the hospital a week for these non-stress tests and once a week doctors visits...

Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down!!!!

Oh My!!! so today is no fun... i believe i have caught a cold! or my tonsilitus is coming back... i have already had it twice this year i'm due for one more go.. i was kind of hoping it woul dmake it's appearance while i was on maternity leave and could consume mass quantities of antibiotics... but with how fucked up the weather has been, it's no surprise that it has struck again....

This whole tonsil thing is usually no big deal...the doctor i have now is quite good at listening to me when i say i need more potent drugs. i asked for a steriod and anitibiotic shot.. i got 2 shots! it was great! i didn't get the whole well let's take these pills for a week and see what happens crap! i know my body i know what's gonna work and what isn't... i have been taking adult antibiotics since i was 6! the dinky shit you prescribe to every average joe is only goining to make this worse! in fact! the virus feeds off of that shit! it thinks it's food!

so i'm sitting here wondering what to do... call my OB or not... she'll definately want me to come in which means they will want money that i owe them.. which i don't have...an i will be in there next monday for a checkup... however whne i left the last appointment she said that if i'm at all feeling sick i should call immediately...at this point i'm pretty sure i am getting sick.. but ther is a little twinge that says "nope! its just prego shit" i think i will wait to see how i am tomorrow... if i still feel like shit.. i will go...

So work is almost done with...and since pretty much all my posts are negative and bitchy i will leave you all with lovely thanksgiving e-mial off of awkwardfamilyphotos.com
Only one of the most entertaing websites known to man! check it out if you get board! the pix on there are hilarious!
This email was posted on the site, it did not come from anyone in my family! lol
:


Awkward Family Story: The Thanksgiving Letter
From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.
HJB—Dinner wine
The Mike Byron Family1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).3. Toppings for the ice cream.4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.
The Bob Byron Family1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).
The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).
The Michelle Bobble Family1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon3. Proscuitto pin wheel - please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.4. A pie knife
The June Davis Family1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!
Marney

FAT COWS!!!!

Oh boy! i'm on a roll.. seconde update in 2 days!...
Just an FYI i told my mom that we must take pictures this weekend and get them on the internet! i have put it off for too long... i had every intention of doing it last weekend, i even brang my makeup home with me... and i haven't worn makeup in months!!!! its quite frightening! Soooo... i won't promise anything but i have every intention of getting photos up here!
I must say that was qutie a mental breakdown yesterday... kind of lost it there for a bit. but after a very nasty mysapce status, angry red face and all i did get a message sent. although i am a bit curious as to how he might be getting on the internet. His phone doesn't work and he said that monicas should be turned on tomorrow. well dear, Monicas already got status messages up saying that her phone is back on. but if he is under the impression that monicas phone is not on how is he getting on myspace?? that would be the big question of the day!
(and i yes i know this seems a tad stalkerish, but its not... i was a detective in a former life... those kind of skills don't ever leave you!)
where exactly is he going or who exactly is coming over. obviously someone comfortable enought to let him use their phone. and it was in the middle of the night cuz i didn't go to be until 11:30 and i was on right before i went to sleep.
hhmm...lots of unanswered questions...Like the TAPS team i have some investigating to do.
I'm jsut a curious person really. my parents raised me to be comfortable asking questions and i like to think that i am quite observant, the 2 combined are a lethal combination.
but hopefully today goes by quickly... my lunch buddy swapped shifts with someone today so it's just me aand my pop tart.
They haven't let anybody leave ear;y in a few days... i kind of hope they do today... it would be nice to sleep some more...newho... it is about that time, andi have to pee... lol...Too much i know, but i go about twice and hour nowadays... its qutie exhausting!

ALL MEN ARE DICKS!

So i have titled this blog "All men are Dicks". I believe it is pretty self explanatory as to what this blog will be mostly about!
Men!! and the stupid asswhole things they do.
By now, we all know that me and justin (aka: Baby Daddy, not to be cunfused with JW, my brother) are not together... we haven't been for quite some time... it took a while to get to a point that ic ould actually talk to him without bitching at him.
Well, things have been really good lately... we've been talking and everything seemed to back to a friendly manner.
Well, Justin's phone was shut off a week and a half ago. He was nice enought ot let me know that i wouldn't be able to get a hold of him but if i needed anything i could call monica. okay. what ever... he doesn't have a job right now. not until school starts back up again. which won't be too much longer so there is no point in trying to get a job at this piont.
well i've tried to get a hold of monica and her phone was shtu off too... now i have already gone over the scenario of "what if something happens and i can't get a hold of you" but all in all it would be his fault. he didnt' have a job set up for the summer and now he's broke and has no money.
So... i have been pretty bored the past week or so cuz i don't text or call a lot of ppl. i mainly talk to justin and a select few others... well i've been really bored and calling my mom about 2-3 times aday... i'm sure she is getting annoyed. in fact i can tell she is annoyed lol...
well to shorten u p an already long story...
i was bored last night and went on myspace just to look around and i'm still waiting on a couple ppl to message me back their addresses cuz i sent some invitations out and they were returned. guess who i see on his myspace. none other than the asswipe himself. they don't have interent the only way he can get on his mysapce is on his phone. so i'm thinking... maybe he'll send me a message. i would think that since he hasn't talked to the woman carrying his son in over a week that he might be sligthly interested in how i am doing. one would think right?? well apparently i think wrong... cuz no message was sent. no comment was left. no call was made. now it's very possible that he was on sum1 else's phone or at someones house on their computer. but if your myspace is so important ot you that you find a way to check it even when your phone isn't working... i apparently am not important enough to be one of the few who is contacted in his search for internet/phone capabilities...
So, i'm a tad on the IRate side... nto pissed or mad... but IRATE!!
I'M CARRYING YOUR FUCKING SON!!! I'M ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS TO YOUR CHILD!!! and he isn't the slightest bit interested in how i might be doing??? what an asshole!!! he makes me feel like all i am is s fucking surrigate... he doesn't give a shit!!!
not even just a little bit... and part of me knew he wouldn't call but part of me thot "Well, i am carrying his child, i can't see why he wouldn't be concerned."
Nope, not one bit. he's out taking joy rides with frends and getting new tattoos and having a the fucking time of his life while i'm stuck with a roommate who annoys the shti out of me...barely any friends and a stomach and ass that won't stop getting fatter!!!! i'm all by myself...
iT MUST BE NICE TO BE ABLE TO FORGET ABOUT THE FACT THAT WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A CHILD TO CARE FOR, AND JSUT GO ON LIVING YOUR LIFE LIKE NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED!!! I'VE SPENT 7 MONTHS WONDERIGN WHAT THAT WOULD FEEL LIKE! YOU CUKIN PIECE OF SHIT!!!!